Myths
by Lady Angel
Summary: Giles teaches the gang a game from Oxford


Title: Myths  
Author: Lady Angel the Part-time Succubus (Angelia Sparrow)   
Email: valarltd@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG, some slightly off-color comments  
Summary: Giles shows the gang his thing: a game from Oxford  
Spoilers: third season  
Disclaimer: These are not my character. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and WB. I  
receive no monetary gain for these stories.  
Distribution: Any and all. You want it, you got it.  
Feedback: Here's where I get paid, in applause. If we poor shadows have offended, think but this  
and all is mended, etc  
Author's note: This finally came together after 6 mo. percolation.  
  
*****  
Myths   
c 2000 Angelia Sparrow  
*****  
  
"Oh man, this is so lame," Xander griped  
  
"Shut up, Xander. We all pretended to be interested in your thing." Cordelia kicked him under  
the table. "Act interested in Giles'."  
  
The librarian stood up and cleared his throat. "When we started this challenge, I gave serious  
thought to my 'thing.' Should I make you all learn cross-referencing? Or perhaps the Dewey  
Decimal system?" Buffy rolled her eyes. This was going to be dull. "Or better, just stuff you  
with scones. On third thought I decided a games of 'Myths' would be the most enjoyable and  
enlightening thing I could show you. It's a game we used to play back at Oxford. The challenge  
is to select a myth and fit the others in the room into it. It must be well known. No obscure  
Etruscan pantheons. No single book novels. I'll go first as a demonstration."  
  
He glanced at the group. "I believe I can fit everyone into the Arthurian mythos. Buffy is our  
Arthur, the hero, one who brings us together as Arthur united Britain." She perked up under his  
praise, and then remembered what a wuss Richard Harris always played Arthur as. "Angel is her  
Guenevere, the one true love, sometimes helpful, other times the source of trouble." He paused,  
"Did I mention gender is not an issue?" He went on. "Xander is our Sir Bedivere, the Gryphon.   
Loyal, Arthur's right hand. The one he entrusted Excalibur to upon his death. Willow, you are a  
problem. In some legends, Morgan le Fay is Arthur's ally, in others his adversary. We'll use the  
former in naming you Morgana. Faith, unfortunately, has played Mordred to us all. Cordelia, you  
are Isolde, one the great beauties of the legend." She preened. " Oz, our Sir Kay the Seneschal.   
You work the background, but are indispensable. Wesley, you have the dubious honor of  
Lancelot, ever striving for perfection and ever failing. I of course am Merlin."  
  
Silence as they took in the words. Most were flattered by Giles' perception of them. He seemed  
to see their best sides. Then Buffy broke the silence.  
  
"Ewww. Angel and Wesley?"  
  
"Oh, Buff, don't go there. Scary visual place," Xander cautioned.  
  
"That's scary? How about _Excalibur_ where Merlin and Morgan le Fay are lovers?" Willow  
asked, sending a suspicious look at Giles.  
  
"And the Freudian implications of Mordred's attempted usurpation, which also include laying  
claim to Guenevere, his father's wife, are frighteningly parallel," put in Wesley.  
  
"Scarier visual place, Buffy, the bit in _Mists of Avalon_ where Arthur and Lancelot get into it,  
after Guenevere falls asleep on the other side of the bed," Willow threw in.  
  
"Big ewww!' Buffy and Cordelia harmonized in the sentiment.  
  
"My turn," Angel said. "As the one who got 'ewwed'. I say Greek mythology. Willow, of  
course is Athena, virgin goddess of wisdom, while Giles is Zeus from whose forehead she springs.   
Cordelia is our lovely Aphrodite, occasionally Eris. Buffy is Artemis, the huntress. And Xander  
is Hermes the trickster. Oz is Dionysis, with his dual nature. Wesley, you are Prometheus, bring  
us fire from the council, being chained to the rock of our indifference, while the vulture of scorn  
gnaws at your liver. Me, I'm Janus." He offered a quick shift into game-face and back to normal.   
"The two faced one, looking both into the past and present."  
  
"Nice metaphor, Angel," commented Xander, still cringing about the vulture bit. "Can we be any  
more graphic about innards?"  
  
"Eww again," Buffy said.  
  
"Oh, I've got one!" Cordelia piped. "Dark Shadows, OK? Giles is like Dr. Elizabeth  
whatsername, the brilliant one. And Buffy is Victoria Winters, who falls for Barbanbas, which is  
of course, Angel, our resident vampire. Willow, you're a witch like Angelique, and Oz is  
Quentian the werewolf cousin. Xander, you're comic relief like Willie Loomis the handy-man.   
Wesley, I can't really fit you in, so I'll just make you the mortal version of Barnabas. Me I get to  
be Josette."  
  
"Cordelia, I can't believe you live in Sunnydale and still watch that show," Buffy said.  
  
"But it's so romantic."  
  
"I don't want to be a bad witch!" Willow wailed.   
  
"Well you did curse Angel, just like Angelique cursed Barnabas."  
  
"Actually, exactly the opposite." Angel put in. "She gave me back my humanity, while  
Angelique stole his."  
  
"Angel!" Buffy protested.  
  
"I watched it in first release, back in the 60's. Grasping at straws, hoping for a cure."  
  
"My turn," Oz said quietly. They looked at the werewolf in surprise. "Norse mythology. Giles,  
Odin Allfather, sees and knows everything. Buffy, Thor, the champion. Angel is brooding Hela,  
half-living, half-corpse. Wesley is Frey, not an Aesir, but a Vanir, an outsider. Symbolized by a  
boar." He had to wait until Buffy and Xander quit snickering. "Willow is Freya, Xander Loki.   
Cordelia is Frigg, goddess of love, and I'm Fenris."  
  
"Great," commented Xander. "Not enough that I'm chucking swords into lakes, delivering  
flowers, and waking vampires. Now, I'm Angel and Oz's dad. I'm next."  
  
Giles, getting into the spirit, raided his office and came out wearing a hat pulled over one eye.   
"Anybody got a pair of ravens handy?"  
  
"Do I have to grow a beard?" asked Buffy. "And eat raw salmon and guzzle gallons of beer at  
gulp?"  
  
"And you get a lovely blonde wife," Xander chirped. "I liked the Norse myths because I could  
pronounce the names."  
  
"Didn't Loki get chained to a rock too? With a poisonous snake dripping in his face?" Willow  
asked.  
  
"He did," Wesley said. "His wife took position beside him, and caught the drops, but every now  
and then she had to empty the bowl."  
  
"Definitely my turn," announced Xander. "Before you give anyone ideas. If Cordy can go  
modern, I'm gonna say Star Wars." The group groaned. "I plan to mix time-lines too. G-man,  
you're Qui-gon Jinn, Jedi Master extraordinaire, while Willow gets to be a young Obi-Wan, still  
studying but learning fast. Buffy is,of course, Luke, the hero. While Angel gets the dubious  
honor of Darth Vader. Bad guy, but redeems himself at the end. Wesley is too prissy and stuffy  
to be anybody but C-3PO. Oz, man, I'm sorry, but you gotta be Chewbacca. No way around it,  
buddy. But on the bright side we get to starhop together, because I'm obviously Han Solo.   
Cordelia, my darling, you can be no other but the lovely Princess Leia."  
  
"Bicker, kiss, bicker, kiss. Xand, you summed you two up perfectly."  
  
"Oh, oh, my turn!" piped Willow. "I've got it. Celtic myth: Buffy, you're Nuadu of the Silver  
Hand. He was the great champion of the People of Dana. Giles, you're more Lugh the all-crafted  
'cause you're good at everything. Faith is the Morrigen, the Raven Queen and Goddess of  
Battles. Xander, you're Bricriu, the Bard of the Poison Tongue. Cordelia is Epona, who was  
worshiped the most widely. She was the Goddess of the horse but also a patron of fertility.   
Beltaine bonfires were lit in her honor, even as the festival was named after Belenus the sun God..  
Wesley, you're like Miach, who was fine in his own right, but got killed for usurption. Oz is  
Cernunnos, half human,-half animal. Angel is Bles who followed Nuadu, but was half Danu, half  
formori, just like you're human harboring a demon. I am Brigit."  
  
"Color me confused,. I'm not sure that was flattering. I'm going to pass, since the only thing I'm  
getting is Star Trek: Next Generation or the Brady Bunch."  
  
"Do the Trek, do the Trek!" Xander insisted.  
  
"If you must choose one of those, please take the more literate one," Giles added.  
  
Buffy sighed. "It's not very good. Okay, Giles, you're Data. You have all the answers when we  
need them and are willing to listen when we don't. Angel, you're more like Q. A being of  
powers we don't really understand who wanders through our lives for your own purposes. Oz,  
you're like Worf. Stoic, but with a raging beast below the surface. And I've seen you fight.   
Cordy, you're like Troi. But without the empathy. And Xander is Riker. He gets sent on all the  
dangerous missions, and still isn't the boss. Not to mention the "Will Riker: interstellar sex drone  
aspect. Willow, you're like Geordie. Once Giles comes up with the answer, you can usually  
manage it. Wesley, you're, well, Wesley. Perfect, but annoying. I guess that leaves me being  
Captain Picard, even if I do have more hair."  
  
"You're right, Buff. Not the best we've heard tonight."  
  
"Very well, since everyone else has had a go, perhaps it is my turn. The only thing I can mention  
that you obnoxious colonials will understand is Tolkien."  
  
"Oh Wes, come off it," Buffy sighed.   
  
"Good choice," Giles commented. "Although I hardly qualify under your condemnation, I cannot  
dispute it."  
  
"Giles!" Willow snapped.  
  
"Onward," Wesley insisted. "Giles is the Gandalf of this group, propelling them into adventures.   
Angel, you're a quandry. Shall we say Saruman, and leave it lie? Oz is the ever helpful, ever in  
the background, Legolas. Cordelia is at least as useful as Merry. Xander rates a mention as  
Pippin. Willow is more Samwise, while Buffy is Frodo, the pivot point of the story. Lest you say  
I am over-inflating my importance, call me Tom Bombadil."  
  
"Who?" asked Cordy who had seen the movie under Xander's insistance.  
  
"Minor woodland deity type figure. Rescues the heroes about twice, then fall into obscurity,"  
answered Angel. "What? I read it back in the 50's."  
  
"Well, that was," Buffy searched for a description. "Difficult and more interesting than I thought  
it would be."  
  
"Enlightening," chirped Cordelia a bit too brightly.  
  
"I enjoyed it," said Willow.  
  
"As did I. Tea, anyone?"   
  
*end*  
  



End file.
